Dark Night of the Soul (Overcoming an Existential Crisis)

The Dark Night of The Soul (Losing who we thought we were) by Your Mate Tom

Depression feels like living inside a body that’s trying to survive,

with a mind that just wants to die.

The dark night of the soul feels like living through a nightmare,

Overwhelmed with an unfathomable sense of emptiness and despair,

My soul’s connection to source has been severed,

I’m floating in a meaningless sea of nowhere.

Spiritual knowledge was supposed to shine the light into the unknown,

Give me happiness and growth, but now I feel empty and alone.

Being hyper connected to the collective suffering of humanity,

I couldn’t shake off the gut wrenching horror of cosmic insanity.

I was convinced there is no way out, No matter how much I pleaded,

No amount of weed, sex and food could fill the void, So eventually… I conceded.

What is the purpose of humanity, why are we here?

Only to experience deep suffering and die with fear?

A voice entered my head… “Well that depends on you my friend….”

What have you done in this life that is worth a damn?

Except feed your pride and buying into this illusory sham?

Carl Jung once said, “Beware of unearned Wisdom”.

In spirituality you must do the leg work and work up to the deeper waters,

Instead of jumping into the deepest end where you will not be able to stand.

Your ego in a panicked frenzy will grab unto anything it can, even a made up fairyland.

It’s like trying to fight Ganon in the first level of Legend of Zelda,

You will get eaten up shitted out and wonder what’s the point of this game?

Opening pandoras box overwhelms and fragments the soul,

It took me 9 months to put the pieces back together and feel whole.

After a brutal existential crisis, and unfathomable pain,

The crushing weight become bearable, and I started to feel the spiritual gains.

Like a steel sword getting forged in the fire and getting beat again and again.

I came out stronger, more centred and extremely content,

Losing my connection with Source made me truly realise what’s important,

My mind shifted towards a more grounded approach,

Being grateful for being alive on this beautiful Earth,

Instead of slaying demons for spiritual points in the hellfire,

Sometimes the journey is all about having a laugh with the boys in the Shire.

The Dark night of the soul gives you an opportunity to find meaning in the darkness,

It seems impossible at first, but you’ll do whatever it takes to quench your soul’s thirst.

You just gotta be vigilant, have faith, listen, and keep going no matter what.

Do not hold on and resist the lessons, do not focus on the existential depression,

but the soul’s longing for transcendence.

Jacob’s ladder put it perfectly, “If you're afraid of dying, and you're holdin' on, you'll see devils tearin' your life away. But if you've made your peace, then the devils are really angels, freein' you from the world. It all depends on how you look at it."

If you feel like dying, allow your ego to die. It’s painful at first, especially letting go of old attachments and identifications, but eventually this will lead into a beautiful rebirth of transformation.

The Roman Catholics described the dark night of the soul as a spiritual crisis in the journey toward union with God.

St. John of the cross who originally coined the dark night of the soul wrote: "In this first verse, the soul tells the mode and manner in which it departs, as to its affection, from itself and from all things, dying through a true mortification to all of them and to itself, to arrive at a sweet and delicious life with God."

And just to end with the wise word’s of Joseph Campbell:

“The Dark night of the soul comes just before revelation. When everything is lost, and all seems darkness, then comes the new life and all that is needed.”

Hope this helped in some way. Wishing you all the best with your journey.

Much love,

Tom

Being POSITIVE in a Messed Up World [No BS 2020 Practical Guide]

Just be positive maaaan. Don’t watch conflicting news because it lowers your vibration.

Just ignore the worlds problems and raise your vibration, it’s all an illusion anyways. Ignoring negativity and focusing on positivity will change the world, right?!

no…..

For obvious reasons, this doesn’t work long term and on a collective level. Sure it may make you feel temporary detached from negativity, but as you know ignoring problems only perpetuates them.

Like Carl Jung said, “One does not become enlightened by imagining figures of light, but by making the darkness conscious. The latter procedure, however, is disagreeable and therefore not popular.”

The key is TRANSMUTATION. Here are some ways that hep me stay grounded and positive, even in a negative environment.


LAW OF POLARITY

I would highly recommend learning about the law of Polarity and mental transmutation to neutralise your state of being. This is explained in depth in the book “The Kybalion” by the 3 Initiates.

This is partly mindset, but also learning about the nature of reality in a grounded way. Positive thinking can only get you so far. This doesn’t mean fence sit and not choose a side, that’s called being a coward that many new age teachers dress up as wisdom.

Understand that we live in a reality of duality and polarity, and there is not one phenomena in life that can escape this law.

“Opposites are identical by nature, but different in degree.”

However, nature tends to dominate on the positive pole of polarity. So in the simplest way possible, the best way to get out of your negative state is to focus on the desired state. This may seem obvious, but the vast majority of people do not do this. They complain and focus on their problems, which only grows and mutates into bigger problems. The etymology of ATTENTION is, “to mentally reach out”.

So whatever you are paying attention (the most valuable currency in our economy) to WILL grow whether its negative or positive. The subconscious mind does not discriminate. So instead of focusing on how the world is messed up, train your brain to look for solutions, or how you can even be grateful for this situation.


You must understand the Polarity and how each emotion and mental state has its positive counterpart. You cannot kill out Fear, but instead you must cultivate COURAGE.

Instead of focusing on tragedy, focus on the comedy. 

  • Problem >> SOLUTION

  • Horror >> BEAUTY

  • HATE >> LOVE

  • SADNESS >> JOY

The Chinese word for crisis is the same for opportunity, so understand that life will always come in ebs and flows, and even the most horrifying eras of human history can bear fruit IF your mind is trained for it. This all depends on how you approach the situation. For practical reasons it is wise to have a growth mindset, and look at every situation as an opportunity for positive transformation.


The hermetic masters have known about the mastery of mental transmutation which allows you to gracefully navigate through turbulent times. Again this doesn’t mean to avoid problems and adversity. This will make you weak, and when life smashes your reality with a sledgehammer you will crumble like a daisy being mowed down by a lawn mower. So deepen your roots, challenge yourself, understand the whole spectrum of human emotions and learn to train your mind to automatically focus on the positive pole of polarity while fully understanding its counterpart. This will turn you into a mental warrior.

Remember, it’s better to be a warrior in a garden, than a gardener in a war. Positive thinking can only take you so far. Being able to understand and handle moments of crisis or evil is just as important. 

Shining your light isn’t enough, unfortunately. It’s true that darkness in and of itself cannot overpower light, but if you don’t learn how the enemy thinks and acts, you will be deceived and hurt, even if you are meditating in a temple full of buddhists who won’t even hurt an ant, some douche back can just come along and stomp out your fire and steal your mala beads. Reality.


STOP ARGUING WITH PEOPLE

Stop engaging in political arguments (this only creates conflict and further divides people. Instead take action on what you believe instead of judging others), or at least have a long form conversation and try to really understand their point of view. This will make it easier to not get triggered by people’s beliefs - because you’ll understand exactly why they think a certain way. And recognise that you could be wrong, and you have many times before as all of us have, so to just assume with arrogance that NOW you hold the objective Truth of the world is foolish, even if you are right.

Many times we project our shadow on others we disagree with, so look within yourself and cultivate empathy. This will make dealing with “difficult” people a lot easier. In some cases you may even realise that YOU were the difficult person to deal with. I’ve definitely found myself in this situation many times in my life, so learning to cultivate compassion for others is key.

MEDITATION/PRAYER

Take time in the morning to meditate/prayer. Be grateful and connect to a higher power. Plant your minds with seeds that will bear fruits. Emptying your mind isn’t enough. You can have the best fertile soil in the world, but if you don’t plant anything, weeds will grow and plague your mind GUARANTEED. Whether you resonate with stating positive affirmations out loud or praising God and cultivating gratitude, do whatever you feel is right to positively “brainwash” your mind. This will help program the mind in the long run.

NATURE TIME

Take time away from technology, and spend a significant amount of time in nature being one with the elements. Observe plants, animals and how nature harmonies with each other - even when everything is trying to kill each other. Notice how in nature, there can be violence and death, but zero hatred. Nature is a great teacher, so feel free to take some notes.

PREPARE FOR THE WORST, HOPE FOR THE BEST

Prepare for the worst, even if it’s to feel more secure subconsciously. - Grow your food, learn how to fight, invest in gold or at least financially educate yourself before the economy and dollar crashes.

Feel free to watch my video on YouTube which goes more in depth.

Much love,

Tom

The TRUTH About DRUGS (That no one talks about)

Drugs.

"Drugs are so fucking good that they'll ruin your life. That's how good they are."                                  - Louie C.K

Yep.....a lot of mixed reviews on this one.

So according to Google, the definition of drug is "a medicine or other substance which has a physiological effect when ingested or otherwise introduced into the body."

So, basically everything.

"We are chemical systems. I mean and I hate to break it to you folks, but we're made of drugs, right, that's why drugs work." - Dennis McKenna

When I refer to drugs in this video, I am talking about any recreational and medicinal compound that has profound effect on the body and mind. So, basically, all the fun ones, like alcohol, tobacco, weed, meth, heroin, LSD, mushrooms, ketamine, and also includes prescription medications such as SSRIs, Xanax and Adderall. So I'm not talking about supplements and vitamins here guys, which are technically "drugs" but I don't think it would be wise to group vitamin C and heroin in the same category...bit of a difference there.

So, yeah.....Drugs.

Now before we dive into this, let's briefly go over the LAW OF POLARITY, which states that "Opposites are identical by nature but different in degrees." - The Kybalion

Everything in the physical universe has a polar opposite. Up has down, good has bad, light has shadow, male has female, pleasure has pain. The law of polarity is literally built within the very fabric of our physical existence. Even every atom has a positive and negative charge to it.

There is no separating the two ends of polarity, you must experience the contrasts to distinguish them. So before we jump into this versus the other, you must understand this principle, otherwise people end up being polarised and with a skewed perspective, which is quite evident when you just look outside and observe peoples behaviours. As soon as you're thinking in terms of "this" versus "that", you've already lost the point, and this is exactly what happens with drugs.

You have people on one side who think that drugs are just pure evil and want the war on drugs to continue, and then people on the other side that just look at the positives of drugs while sweeping the negatives under the rug. And a big part of why this happens is because of cognitive dissonance, which causes people to actively avoid situations and contradictory information that clashes with their beliefs systems.

Just remember that ALL TRUTHS ARE HALF TRUTHS, and all paradoxes may be reconciled. You just have to look somewhere in the middle and understand both sides. How do you think this world can be so horrific, yet beautiful, at the same time?

And that's why drugs are simultaneously the worst thing that's ever happened to society, but also the best. So it isn't as simple as drugs being your friend or foe. In fact, many times drugs can be your enemy disguised as your buddy.

I remember being in high school, lost and miserable, and I didn't exactly have a lot going for me, so once I discovered drugs that's pretty much all I gave a shit about. Drugs are the ultimate escape from being with yourself in this daunting reality, and escapism is the main fuel of consumerism.

That being said, I've had some powerful drug experiences that gave me some positive effects, mainly with paradigm shifts, but I also had to pay a price for this. But the weaker your mental, emotional & spiritual foundation is, the more damaging drugs are going to be ultimately. So just because you can have a divine experience, it doesn't mean that your meat vehicle can necessarily handle it.

Like Carl Jung once said, "Beware of unearned wisdom."

Drugs are something else....

All you have to do is pop a pill, snort a line, smoke a joint, inject something, shove something up your arse or whatever you're into, and you can instantly feel better. You don't need any particular skills, discipline, wisdom or knowledge to have a drug experience. All that's required is having a throat box so you can swallow or smoke said substance and voila, there you go mate.

And you know what? For a while the drugs help and they seem like they're your best friend, giving you these positive feelings and telling you that everything's gonna be alright, but one inevitable day they do turn on you. You may have to hit rock bottom, like myself, to realise that everything you've escaped from - all the darkness and demons - have just been accumulating this whole time into a much scarier beast.

I mean let's face it...drugs are fucking easy.

You can be having the worst day ever, but if you drop some of that sweet, sweet molly, you're gonna have a good time.

But all things that go up must eventually go down, with every action equals an opposite and equal reaction. And the more profound the drugs high is, the harder the pendulum is going to swing the opposite direction - especially when used for escapism.

This is when intention plays a big factor.

Genuinely using a substance on a rare occasion for medicinal purposes can yield positive results to a certain degree, but if you're using drugs for hedonistic purposes, well...it may not produce a happy ending.

And there's a difference between having a couple coffees a week while maintaining a healthy lifestyle, and having three cups of coffee a day and not being able to function without it. I mean, yeah sure, you can still function but you won't be at your most optimal state. And this is where a lot of peoples arguments are based on, functionality over optimisation, which is where I'm coming from.

But at the end of the day there is no loop hole with drugs (I wish).

Any positives you may receive from a drug will over compensate in another area. It may not be a noticeable 1:1 ratio, as soon as the drug wears off, in fact many times it's delayed, and the price paid isn't even brought to your awareness until much later. But the debt collector will come knocking on your door eventually. You can try to diminish the effects with as many vitamins and supplements as you want, but you still have to pay a price in one way shape or form, and this universal law cannot be bargained with.

Like Tim Ferriss says, "There is no such thing as a biological free lunch."

And like I stated with the law of polarity earlier, you cannot have gain without loss, PERIOD.

Does this mean that all drugs are bad ultimately? Well, it depends like everything else in life. Drugs in and of themselves are neutral, inanimate objects.

They are neither good or bad. It's the individuals mind that gets altered by these compounds that will determine whether it's overall beneficial or damaging.

So even saying things like drug "X" may have side effects is kind of ridiculous if you really think about it, because the reality is, there is no such thing as side effects, those are just part of the effects. You cannot have positive effects A, B and C without the negatives D, E and F.

The real question we should be asking ourselves is "are the short term positives going to be worth the long term negatives."

And the answer's obviously going to depend on the individual and their unique circumstances. Drugs can be effective tools with dealing with certain situations in our lives. If you're drowning in the middle of an ocean, certain drugs can act like a life saving raft. I've definitely had some of these situations before, and certain substances were a saving grace.

Antidepressants for example, can literally save someones life from committing suicide and buy that person some extra time to get their life in order, but no drug will ever cure you from anything in and of itself, and will never be a long term solution.

Sometimes they can act as catalysts, assuming you make the appropriate lifestyle changes, but the drugs will never do the work for you. Otherwise anyone who drinks ayahuasca would be an enlightened master. It's not quite that simple.

So don't be fooled by new groundbreaking drugs that sound too good to be true because you just don't know what horrendous effects it can have on your body years later. And this is especially true with new drugs that haven't really been studied properly, such as research chemicals. And this is exactly why we need more long term unbiased research that honestly weighs the pro with the cons.

Some people will come up with a lot of excuses, like, "Oh, I need to smoke weed because I have insomnia and chronic back pain." or "I need Viagra to get my dick hard otherwise my girlfriend will leave me,"

Actually, that one's fair enough.

There's absolutely nothing wrong per se with using these drugs for certain problems for a short while, but I would argue that there are always healthy sustainable ways to get over whatever issue you have without the use of drugs. So instead of taking adderall to focus everyday, which is basically speed if we're being honest here, why not take up a meditation practice, but actually stick with it and stop filling up your mind with constant stimulation which is obviously making your attention span worse.

Easier said than done, right?

Well, yeah....

That's kinda the price you have to pay, and this is precisely the reason why people prefer to take drugs that temporarily solve their problems instead of changing their whole lifestyle.

And I am guilty just as much as the next guy for unnecessarily using drugs, but it does eventually catch up to you. The reality is, life is fucking hard and sometimes we have to do things that make us feel uncomfortable to improve our lives in the long run. We are not here to be happy all the time. And it's this constant pursuit of happiness which is making us unhappy in the first place.

"Easy choices, hard life. Hard choices, easy life." - Jerzy Gregory

The more you rely on drugs, the less capable you will be with dealing with adversity in life, which means that life is going to be a lot more painful than it has to be.

Drugs are tools, first and foremost.

They can be useful in particular situations - assuming that it's in the right set sett& setting, but they can also be destructive weapons in the wrong context, which is how the vast majority of people use them unfortunately.

And not to be Captain Obvious but the problem is obviously not with drugs, it's with HUMANS.

US.

We kind of just tend to ruin everything, especially in this modern society of instant gratification.

And this really applies to everything in life to a certain extent, whether it's social media, TV, eating, sex, shopping, gambling, porn and even spiritual practices. It's just that drugs have more of a dramatic effect on your mind, so the high's obviously going to be the best thing you'll ever experience, but the downfalls are just as extreme.

And I think this is exactly what Louis C.K. meant when he said that "drugs are so good that they'll ruin your life." And this is exactly why we need a more balanced approach to life, and not constantly chase pleasure and force it.

It all comes down to moderation guys - including moderation.

It really comes down to why you're using a substance and for what purpose.

Are the negatives gonna be worth the positives you're chasing?

How often are you using a particular substance?

What's the dose?

Are you relying on it?

Can you get the intended effect without any drugs at all? 

Well, yeah, of course you can. It just takes a lot more discipline and patience.

As we've discussed before, drugs can be powerful allies and enemies depending on how you use them and what form you take, which is important. And this is the problem when we label all illegal substances as "drugs", but somehow alcohol and prescription medications gets a pass. Which is ironic because they're the ones that are killing more people than all illegal drugs combined.

And since we humans are such pleasure monkeys that love chasing that dopamine hit, we are notorious for taking what used to be a safe medicinal plant with mild effects, and refining and concentrating them into a much more potent substance.

So coca leaf becomes cocaine, green tea becomes energy drinks, poppy seeds become heroin, etc.

We like to push it even further and produce more messed up drugs like krokodil and crack cocaine. And we all know how destructively addictive these drugs can be...

And I don't wanna be that guy who falls into the "appeal to nature" fallacy, because I'm not saying that natural plants are always better. Mother nature has some really scary and powerful shit out there, like Datura for example, which is not uncommon in sending people into a hellish psychosis.

But for the most part, the plants that have milder effects, like green tea and coca leaf, is probably going to be the healthier choice, compared to the more potent concentration. Because as we all know, the more potent the drug, the bigger the risk.

But I think, before relying on drugs, it could be wise to just have all your areas in life covered, like health, wealth, relationships and purpose. It should be treated like a supplementation instead of the solution.

And by the way guys, I'm not fundamentally against using drugs to have fun every once in a while, but if you can't have fun without drugs then you probably shouldn't be taking drugs in the first place.

And this could be the difference between an addict who loves drugs a little bit too much, and someone who just has a drug experience every once in a while, but moves on with their life. There's absolutely nothing wrong with getting loose, I mean, we are gonna die one day, let's face it. Just try not to get carried away - that's all I'm saying.

But I would invite you guys to slowly trade the more profound drugs for a more sustainable practise, or even move to a milder substance.

And remember that we are made of drugs, so take advantage!

There's so many tools out there that can give us access to the "feel good" chemicals that our body already produces. Things like cold showers, hot yoga, exercise, & deep breathing meditation are all amazing ways to get a sustainable "high" without the come down. And on top of that, they're actually good for you!

But I understand that this transition can be difficult, and sometimes we need to take things one step at a time. So instead of smoking cigarettes, you can try substitute with vaping. Instead of consuming sleeping pills, try chamomile tea in a candle lit room without any fluorescent lights, which is shutting down your melatonin production. Or if you have a coffee addiction (like most of us), try move onto yerba mate, and eventually green tea, etc.

If you do take drugs, which is inevitable, let's face it here - Lower the dose, take care of your body, test your substances and know what the fuck you're getting into. Don't just trust your mate Gary and go by his word.

And finally, which is very important,  S P A C E   I T   O U T. 

You'll actually have a better experience the next time you take drugs.

"Because I don't do drugs, I never do drugs, never......so that when I do they're way more fun. To me that's my best advice about drugs, if you wanna enjoy drugs, never do them, never........ because then when you do, they're actually fun." - Louie C.K

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Good and Evil | 2 Sides of the Same Coin

Good and Evil | 2 Sides of the Same Coin

There is a polarity to everything in life. The separation of good and bad is an illusion that we've all bought into, which has created judgment, attachment and conflict in this world.   

There is a dichotomy in nature everywhere you look. There's night and day, black and white, sun and moon, male and female, hot and cold, lightness and darkness, life and death, etc. It is all a part of the same organism.